Tips Menghadapi Kekecewaan

Hahahaha.. apakah? Tapi inilah motif utama blog ini diwujudkan. Ramai sebenarnya di luar sana sedang menghadapi kekecewaan. Ada yang tahu cara untuk menghadapinya, dan ada yang terus dilanda kecewa berterusan. Ini bukan diambil dari majalah. Ini dari pengalaman sendiri.

Beberapa bulan selepas bercerai, ada 2 orang kawan bertanya khabar aku. Seorang bertanya sebab dia dah tahu aku bercerai. Seorang lagi bertanya macam mana untuk bahagia sebab dia baru frust bercinta dan dia tengok status FB aku seolah-olah aku sedang bahagia tanpa tahu aku dah bercerai. Errr, paham tak ni? Layan je la.hehe..

1.       Jangan update status FB meluahkan kekecewaan anda.

Hohoho..ini bahaya. Tak bagus untuk kesihatan. Semua orang yang membaca status kita akan judge kita, padahal dorang tak tahu pun keadaan sebenar.Aaaand, secara tak langsung kita yang bagi peluang orang memfitnah. Dan mungkin ada member kita sampai meluat baca status luahan perasaan kita. Dan fikir sejenak, selalunya status orang kecewa berunsur negative.

source: google

2.       Ambil tempoh untuk bersedih

Tak salah untuk bersedih. Memang normal. Manusia, diciptakan ada hati dan perasaan. Tapi jangan sampai memudaratkan diri. Menangis sekali sekala takpe. Kalau setiap malam, itu parah. By the way, that person doesn’t deserve your precious tears. Don’t be so stupid to waste your tears. Haha..gituu..

3.      Jangan layan drama/ movie/ lagu sedih atau cinta.

No no no no.. pastu mula la sedih sorang-sorang, mengalir air mata. What the.. baik jangan dengar terus benda-benda camni. Lantak la orang dok cakap pasal cite Love You Mr Arrogant ke, Rindu Awak 40% ke, The Fault In Our Stars ke Moon ke. Aku lebih selesa layan ulang tayang kartun Pingu dengan Adam. Pororo pun best jugak.

4.       Sibukkan diri anda.

Ini saaaangat penting. Mengelakkan kita dari mempunyai banyak masa lapang yang diisi dengan bersedih. Huh.. sangat tidak produktif. Sheikh Muzaffar pegi ke angkasa, kita dok termenung atas katil. Kolot.eh, tetibe. So, sibukkan diri anda. Kalau suka aktiviti outdoor, keluar la. Kalau jenis suka dok umah, do something at home. Jaaaangan baca novel cinta. Pastu mula la nak sedih sorang-sorang. Hishhh.. As for me, aku blajar masak. Google recipe, pegi cari barang then balik masak. Makan sorang sampai 3, 4 lauk. Sebab bila aku pikir nak masak, aku totally immersed with it sampai tak pikir dah benda-benda sedih. Then aku start cari information pasal parenting. Main dengan Adam, Lego la plastisin la, puzzle la, colouring. Huh, banyak benda boleh dibuat. Kadang-kadang aku window shopping sorang-sorang. Awal-awal memang it reminds me of life i used to live, then i get used to it. Arkkk, macam pelik je ayat ni. Then aku sibuk google pasal cara nak organize dapur, closets. Pergi beli akuarium bagai. Siap google lagi cari kedai akuarium. Belajar tanam pokok, biar la pokok tu mati after aku pergi bercuti pun. Haha.. tapi adam sempat la belajar siram pokok. Macam-macam perkara boleh buat. Tak semestinya kena berteman. Sorang-sorang pun boleh.

5.       Dekatkan diri dengan Allah

Yang ini super duper penting. Kita tak boleh bergantung pada manusia. Allah yang letak kita dalam situasi ini, dan Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Mungkin apa yang kita lalui ini adalah satu balasan atas kesalahan-kesalahan kita dulu, mungkin juga ujian. Tapi yang pasti banyak pengajaran dan hikmah yang kita dapat. Masa dalam kekecewaan dulu, aku selalu jugak tanya diri sendiri, apa hikmah semua ni. Kenapa aku yang kena lalui semua ni. Kenapa bukan orang lain. Tapi aku tak dapat jawapan untuk semua persoalan tu. Sekarang, aku boleh tersenyum memikirkan hikmah kenapa penceraian terjadi pada aku. Pengalaman dan pengajaran yang takkan mampu dibayar dengan duit. Experience is the best teacher. Jadi, sesiapa yang sedang bersedih, bersabarlah. Hikmah akan muncul bila kita mula faham... bersabarlah? Ko ingat senang nak bersabar? Cakap boleh la. Eh, tetiba emo. Tak laa. Aku pun pernah rasa semua tu. Orang dok cakap sabar sabar sabar. Ingat senang ke nak sabar. Tapi sekarang aku lebih bersabar dari dulu. Kot..haha..Contoh hikmah yang aku dapat, disebabkan masalah yang aku hadapi, aku lebih appreciate parents aku dan siblings aku. Aku lebih matang dengan kehidupan. Yang lain banyak lagi la.

6.    Berfikiran positif

Semua tips pun penting. Yang mane yang tak pentingnye? Hehe..

7.       Be confident

Jaga penampilan anda. Jangan serabai. Owh, cukup la berlalu zaman pergi sekolah dengan mata bengkak menangis malam-malam, baju tidak matching. Tanpa secalit mekap. Sekarang, hampir setiap hari aku dok depan closets, memikirkan baju apa yang nak dipakai esok. Handbag mana, kasut mana, belt kaler ape, nak matching skirt biru dengan baju kaler ape, tudung shawl ke bawal ke pari ke. Shark pun boleh. Taaapi, walau apa pun yang anda pakai, jangan gedik. Jauh beza antara confident dan gedik. Tambahan plak dengan title hot ala-ala CikTa dulu, bukan yang sekarang. Hehe.. jangan serabai sampai orang boleh label anda, patut la serabai camtu, putus cinta rupanya.. bila anda menjaga penampilan anda, anda akan lebih bersemangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan harian. Like my mom, bila demam kena pakai baju baru cantik-cantik. Kalau pakai baju buruk, nanti lagi demam. Haha..

8.       Enjoy yourself
       Anda tidak akan happy bila pikir anda bersedih dan orang yang meninggalkan anda tengah berseronok. So why not, u also have fun. Jangan have fun sampa Allah marah dah la, hehe..

9.       No Revenge
       Catatan aku ni adalah setahun selepas penceraian. Lama tersimpan dalam laptop. Hari ni baru aku publish setelah menghampiri 2 tahun penceraian. Aku tak pernah ambil any action untuk revenge. And slowly Allah tunjuk balasan pada orang-orang yang terlibat. Moral of the story, tak perlu revenge. Kalau rasa tak puas hati, ingat la Allah Maha Adil.

10.   Count your blessings

Tuhan amik 1 benda je dari anda. Bukan seluruh kehidupan anda. Cuba piker betapa banyak nikmat yang anda ada. Tangan ada? Kaki ada? Mulut ada? Boleh bernafas lagi kan? Hehe..

11.   Letakkan matlamat hidup

Jangan terus hilang matlamat hidup hanya kerana anda hilang pasangan. Hiduplah kerana Allah, ibu bapa dan jugak diri sendiri.

12.   Bina karier/ focus pelajaran anda.

Yang ini akan bantu anda terus hidup.

13.   Luahkan masalah anda pada orang yang sepatutnya

Hmm.. yang ni agak sukar. Aku tahu. Kadang-kadang bila dah lost, kita tak tahu tempat mengadu. Cuma dalam mengadu tu, carilah orang yang betul-betul boleh dipercayai. Jangan apa yang kita mengadu tu dijadikan bahan untuk kenakan kita balik.

14.   Luaskan pergaulan anda

Aku seorang yang extrovert. At first, bila divorce berlaku, aku rasa rendah diri. Bila baca status FB kawan-kawan yang sedang bahagia, lagi buat aku rasa taknak berkawan. But then, sampai bila? And adakah status aku menentukan circle of friends aku? So, aku setup whatsapp group member-member lama. Rasa lagi happening. Tapi aku taktau macam mana penerimaan dorang pasal status aku. Sampai la satu masa aku betul-betul bersedia, aku bagitau dorang. And surprisingly, they accept it very well. Not being so judgemental. They knew me before this thing happened. And i really appreciate most when they support me with motivating words. Starting from there, i felt more confident to open up this matter.

15.   Catatkan perkara menarik yang berlaku pada anda.

That’s why i have this blog =) Bak kate bestfriend aku, kita memang jiwa blogging. Bila takde blog, rasa macam something missing. Tak semestinya orang baca blog kita, tapi kita sendiri akan baca catatan terdahulu kita. Biasanya orang yang suka tulis diari la camni.hehe..

16.   Saving!

Dengan adanya saving, anda boleh plan apa sahaja dalam hidup anda. But, NO MONEY, NO TALK.

17.   Family comes first

Support paling kuat.

18.   Lantak la ape orang kate!!

Haha.. penat dorang cakap nanti, dorang berhenti la tu.

r.a.i.n.b.o.w

Sticks and stones cant bring me down.

Haha..merapu apa nih.

Hari ni.ye,hari ini.1 years and 5 months after that day,i am more confident.

My latest achievement was,i am able to see him again without holding any grudge. I learn to forgive him even though i cannot forget what he did to me.isnt a good thing though?

The future? Dont ask me.i'm also asking the same question. But i know good things are coming to see. Cant wait to see the rainbow after the rain.

And the most touching part is, able to see Lil Adam's smiles with his parents is priceless.

Taknak further study ke?

Last nite, my best friend since form 4 whatsapp me. Dah lama tak update stories about each other. The she asked me, "taknak sambung study ke?"

Ehh? Entah lah. Tak pernah fikir sedalam-dalamnya pasal hal itu. Then, persoalan itu buat aku sedikit sentap.

"Taknak sambung study ke?"

Chemistry again? Muahaha.. BUT, why not?

Seronok tengok member-member further study.Ada yang single,ada yang husband and wife. Ada yang local, ada yang oversea. And me? Hmm...

Fokus Adam dulu la. Tahun depan Insya-Allah akan start tadika. Adam needs me more than I need that. =)

get ready..

First step untuk perancangan jangka masa panjang.dah dapat surat jawapan untuk permohonan.Alhamdulillah.Walaupun saja-saja memohon tak sangka pulak terpilih.

Fokus untuk kehidupan telah berubah.Kalau dulu mungkin fokus untuk membina keluarga dan menjadi isteri solehah serta ibu penyayang (uhuk uhuk), tapi bila rumahtangga hancur berkecai, I dont have time to grieve for that.Mengubah fokus untuk membesarkan dan mendidik Little Khaliff serta membangunkan diri dalam kerjaya.

Maybe that's why God choose me for this test =)

It's not an easy path. But this is life.And for sure there will be a reward for this.

movie time!!

How to train your dragon too was awesome!!

Last thursday, after school I took adam to watch movie.haha.dont care about the work load at school or unfinished house chores at home.those things can wait for me.huhu..

Not that adam like to watch movies but more to fulfill mama's addiction..I love watching movies.and I cannot do that at home.i cannot leisurely lie down in front of tv for 1 or 2 hours and just waching movie or drama series.firstly, adam will conquer the tv all the time.even he didnt watch it all the time, but the tv must play his Pororo.ALL THE TIME! Secondly, I just cant.i'll do other things.

That was my second attempt to watch movie with adam.the first movie was Rio.and we managed to survive 1 hour inside the cinema before adam becomw hyper and running and crawling.so I went out and we missed the last 20 minutes of the movie.

For How To Train Your Dragon 2, adam sat still, feeling amused by the movie and he forgot to chew the popcorn inside his mouth.it was fun.hehe..

My next target is to watch Transformer.soon. =)

Happy kid after watching the movie.

The choice is in your hand.

Whatever the situation is, we always have choices. It depends on us how to choose and react.

For example people who undergo divorce. True, we feel sad. But do you have to feel sad and down for years while person who hurt you are happy with someone else. No need to be so destructive towards yourself. Take your time to grieve, but don’t grieve too long. Move on as soon as you can.

I can cry all day long. But what’s the use of crying? So i go out, enjoy myself. I love myself and my life more than i love a person. And i just realize that i have lots of people who love me and care for me. Lots of people who don’t want to see me sad. so i choose to make them happy too.

Towards the end, i’m a happy person.

It's true that for some women who divorved, the responsibility or the burden become more. But try to think logically, in which situation we are able to think properly? when we're sad or when we're happy? Any choices made in these 2 different situation will lead to 2 different results.

to those who are in the same shoes as me, you have your own choices. either to continue crying and grieving and blaming, or start a new life that u wont regret. have fun. improve yourself. love people who are worth to be loved.

have a great day, adios.

These legs spent 3 days in a row for swimming, and 2 days in a row walking on the beach and many days at shopping complex accompanying mama for shopping. Just came back from 2 weeks of school holiday at KL and Kelantan.

Doing things that i love.

I think I'm workaholic now.it's just Adam that stops me from being a total workaholic.If not, I think I can sleep at school finishing my work.haha..

Then when I have free time, I will take him to his favourite place like kids library or maybe park.Depends.

I love my life right now.live with passion.yes, I maybe tired but it is different.tired with satisfied feelings.feeling accomplished.rather than struggling to get a life.

Took him for ice-cream for reward of his good behavior.naaahh..coz mama want to eat too =)

Adam at kids library.a very interesting place for kids with lots of books and toys.

my new hobby:Cooking?

Ok.blur sekejap.tadi macam ada idea nak tulis.
Hidup.masih bsemangat.kalau tak bsemangat, jangan hidup la.haha.boleh macam tu?
Last few week, aku menemui hobi baru.Cooking.hahahaha.ok aku pun tergelak tulis camni.but seriously, aku terlalu suka memasak last few weeks.minggu ni mood memasak dah hilang.keje banyak.
Aku masak benda simple je.tapi excited.sampai aku tlupa fikir benda lain bila aku memasak.sampai 2, 3 lauk padahal makan 2 orang je.haha..
Adam pun excited aku masak.dia akan tunggu sambil main.pastu bila aku siap, dia yang excited tunggu kat meja makan.dan makan banyak.huhu..

Ayam lemon.ikan percik.sotong celup tepung.haha..

lalalalaaa~

Lately i always caught myself singing. Haha.. i think i emitted a good vibe to people around me. Only now i have time to do what i like, what i want.

Guess what, my students gave me 5 hamsters. And Lil Adam really like it. Like he wanna spend all the time with them. Even read a book for them.hahaha. seriously. I caught him reading his Ultraman colouring book near the cage. Haha.. and our house was so havoc the day i bring home those hamsters. Adam opened the cage and pull the hamster out. Mama screamed and squeal chasing the hamster. And he feed the hamster with everything and anything like the crayon, a cup, coins, food. Sigh~

source: wikimedia

And i went to hair saloon like i mentioned before in previous entry. Haha.. it’s so nice to go out and meet new people. Whoa, i really admire the hair stylist. She’s humble, nice and we talked about many things.

I also went for my dental appointment. Dr Lim. I really like this guy. He’s so passionate about his work. He’s a very nice person. Well, these days it’s hard to see people greets us with a smile. But he did. And he explain clearly about my situation. Psst, he even gave me MC one day for my case. Thanks Dr. And the doctor assistant also very polite. A kelantanese boy. Why i say ‘boy’? because he really behave like a boy. So cute. Haha..

And today i have LDP. The speakers also very good. This is the 2^nd time i feel LDP give me so much benefits.

And i also went for karaoke with my colleagues. Haha.i don’t know i can sing. At first i didn’t even dare to touch the mic. But, in the end, i pick my own song and sing. Hahaha..good job. Well done. A very good way to release stress.

Well, many good things happen to me even though bad thing still accompany me. Haha..

And i start blogging too. Which i like the most. And i hope i write for good.